


The Perks of Having a Fake Boyfriend

by Mattycakes



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 18:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5174261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mattycakes/pseuds/Mattycakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tweek/Craig Drabble, set after the episode 'Tweek x Craig'. Kevin and Jason pick on Tweek, who finds out there are perks to having a fake boyfriend.</p><p>Note; after the Tweek x Craig episode I honestly thought they were just pretending to be boyfriends, didn't realise their relationship was 100% cannon til 'Put it Down' but whatever :P yay creek is canon</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perks of Having a Fake Boyfriend

“What? Throw the damn ball already!” Craig shouted at Clyde. It was lunchtime, and they were playing catch outside with Token, when Clyde had lowered the ball with a frown.

“Hey, isn’t that Tweek?” Clyde asked, pointing over Craig’s shoulder to where another group of boys were gathered in the far corner of the snowy schoolyard. Craig narrowed his eyes; Tweek’s frazzled mop of blonde stood out a mile away, and upon closer inspection he recognized the other boys to be Jason and Kevin, who were standing on either side of Tweek, poised in a somewhat threatening way. Tweek’s body was shaking, and his eye was starting to flutter, a sign that he was becoming genuinely stressed.

“Dude, shouldn’t you… I dunno, go over there?” Token asked quietly and awkwardly, glancing at Clyde, who shrugged in response. 

Craig’s heart thudded in his chest. Officially, he was Tweek’s boyfriend, and on that basis he felt he should intervene, because he figured that’s definitely what he’d do if he saw Jason and Kevin messing with his girlfriend. But the reality was, Tweek wasn’t his boyfriend, and what’s more, he wasn’t a girl. Would it even be okay for him to assume the role of Tweek’s rescuer like that?

“I don’t know if Tweek would want me to…” Craig began, and suddenly Kevin’s hand was shoving Tweek’s shoulder, Tweek’s hands twitched violently, dropping his thermos of coffee in the snow. Jason and Kevin started to laugh nastily at him, and Craig was crossing the yard with his hands clenched into angry fists before he was even aware of his decision. 

“What whoa hold on we’re coming,” Craig could hear Token muttering somewhere behind him, but it didn’t matter, he’d do this without or without anyone at his back.

“Oh, shit,” Craig heard Kevin blurt before his hands connected with Kevin’s shoulders in a hard shove, sending Kevin sprawling in the snow. 

“Jason. Kevin. Maybe you didn’t get last week’s memo. Tweek’s my official boyfriend now.” Craig’s face remained as passive as ever as he took a hold of Jason’s jacket front and gave the boy’s whole body a hard shake. “Which, to be clear, means if you fuck with him, you vicariously fuck with me. So. You fucking with my boyfriend, dude?” 

“Wh-wh-n-no!” Jason stuttered, sizing up Craig in a few panicked moments and deciding that he and Kevin were no match for Tweek and Craig. Especially when it seemed Clyde and Token, who were hovering nearby with a football and matching scowls, had a vested interest in protecting their friend.

“Cool.” Craig released Jason from his grip, and the two bullies hurried to an area of the school that had not witnessed their embarrassment. “You okay?” Craig asked offhandedly to Tweek, who was brushing the snow off his retrieved thermos with shaking hands.

“You didn’t have to…NNG… do that,” Tweek said, embarrassed.

Craig frowned. “Fuck that. You’re my boyfriend, dude. I’m not going to just sit and watch two guys kick your ass.” Tweek looked up sharply and Craig looked away. “I mean, how’s that going to make me look?” he added hastily, kicking the snow with the toe of his boot. 

“Thanks,” Tweek said quietly.

“Yeah, s’cool. Wanna come play catch with us?” Craig offered, gesturing at Clyde and Token who had gotten bored and were throwing the football to each other in the near distance.

“Ahh! I don’t know how to play!” Tweek admitted in a nervous burst. 

“Neither do we,” Craig said, waving his hand dismissively. “But if you can throw the ball and catch it, you can hang out with us at lunch instead of wandering around until some douchebag starts picking on you.”

Tweek felt the flutter of his eye ease up slightly as Craig waved his arms at Clyde and Token and pointed to Tweek to indicate he would be joining the game. “That would be a l-lot less pressure,” Tweek said with a weak smile, thinking that even when he was only pretending, Craig Tucker was a pretty decent boyfriend.


End file.
